Friday, 6 May 2016

The Greatest Gift That You Can Give Your Children

Publish date: Fri, 22 Jan 2016, 11:53 AM 

1. Heavy Hearts

Today I am not writing about stocks, I will write about bringing up kids. There are many parents here in i3, I think some will be interested in this topic.

Many years ago, when I was in secondary school, it was common for my friends to come to me and said "Recently I am not happy".

When probed further, the problems were usually very trivial - accidentally did something to embarrass a friend, disappointed mum and dad for not scoring well in exam, said something stupid in public, hurt by a friend's harsh words, etc.

During those teenage years, we were easily upset by little little things. Those little things did not make us break down and cry, but they stuck in our chest and caused us to have a heavy heart the whole day.

And we didn't understand why.

2. Emotional Intelligence

When I was in the University, I bumped into some motivation books in the library. As I read more and more of those books, I began to understand why we were a bunch of miserable kids when we were in secondary school.

One of the books that benefited me most was Dale Carnegie's "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living". You can download the book by clicking on the link below.

The book taughts us that we have a tendency to worry about things that might not even happen. Worriness will paralyse and depress us. We should learn to stop worrying about the future, and focus more on the present.

It is a great book. I felt so rejuvenated after reading it.

Another motivational book that benefited me a lot talked about, amongst others, the unneccessity of feeling guilty.

According to the author, many people mistook guilt with conscience. If you have done something incorrect, you should take action to rectify it. But it is unnecessary to let guilt overwhelms you. Guilt causes you to feel unhappy and miserable, but it doesn't help you to solve your probelms at all. It is a totally unnecessary emotion, you should get it out of your system.

(Please don't get me wrong that I advocate getting rid of guilt so that we can hurt other prople. That is not what I meant. We should not do bad things. Period)

Unfortunately, I have forgotten the title of that book. Otherwise, I would have pasted the link here.

After reading that two books, I looked back to my secondary school years and began to understand the nature of the problem.

Teenagers are relatively inexperienced in life and have tender feelings. Most of the time, they let worriness and guilt to overwhelm them. Our education system teaches them how to read, write and count. But it never teaches them how to be emotionally strong.

Apart from the two books mentioned above, there are many other motivational books that benefited me. In general, these books talk about various qualities that can help a person succeed in life - perseverance, positive thinking, can do attitude, etc.

These books did wonder on my young mind. I was a much happier person in university. I still made silly mistakes but I no more get depressed so easily. Not only that, I have become a more matured person. This showed up after I graduated and joined the work force. The positive thinkings helped me in my job as well as my life.           

3. Concluding Remarks

(a) What I wrote in today's article is not something new. It has been in my mind for many years. Since I am now blogging in i3, I would like to borrow the platform to discuss the issue.

(b) Our education system teaches our kids how to read, write and count. However, it does not teach them how to be emotionally strong. This is not only true about secondary schools, but also for tertiary institutions, both domestic and overseas.

(c) Due to lack of education in emotional intelligence, most young people stepped into society ill prepared. Many have to struggle for years before they finally strengthen up and mature. The process is painful.
Some never make it. They quit (you know what I mean).

(d) For those parents that have kids, I suggest they pay some attention to this aspect of growing up. Give some thoughts on what you can do to inculcate positive attributes into them. Send them to motivational talks, buy them books, etc. 

I believe by doing so, you will be giving them the greatest gift in life. 

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